Who does what at home?
Who thinks of it?
Take stock together, in ten minutes. The tasks are already listed: for each one, say who does it, and who thinks of it. You then see the result for each of you: hours a day, and the number of things to keep in mind.
Let's start 1 of 2
And at home?
Each person's children
Why take stock
Most couples have never listed everything there is to do. Each of you sees what you do, and part of what the other does. The rest is invisible: noticing that the washing powder has run out, knowing when the dentist appointment is, checking that the swimming bag is ready. That work does not take hours, it takes up room in your head.
This page judges nothing. It puts figures in place of impressions, so that the conversation starts from something concrete. In our home, the first version mostly revealed the tasks nobody saw.
Marie Claire (France) · 7 November 2026
‘Mental load: in just 10 minutes, this free tool reveals how tasks are really shared in your relationship’ (translated from French)
Read the article (in French) (new tab)
Frequently asked questions
What is the mental load?
The constant work of managing, organising and planning the smooth running of the home, as defined by Nicole Brais. In practice: noticing that something needs doing, planning it, checking that it is done, even when someone else carries it out. The term comes from the French sociologist Monique Haicault (1984). Allison Daminger (2019) showed that anticipating and monitoring almost always fall to the same person in the couple, even though decisions are made together.
How is the result calculated?
For each task, you say who does it and who thinks of it (thinking of it also means having to ask or remind). Hours per day are based on ‘who does it’: number of times per period, multiplied by the duration, brought back to a single day. The mental load is measured as the number of tasks to keep in mind, not in hours: no serious survey converts thinking into minutes. The default durations come from the INSEE time-use survey in France (2010) and the Fair Play card deck (Eve Rodsky, 2019). You then adjust them to your own reality.
Where do the figures quoted come from?
In the UK, the Office for National Statistics (ONS): women did 60% more unpaid work than men in 2015, 26 hours a week against 16; in 2023, among employed adults aged 18 to 64, 2h 37m of unpaid household work a day for women, 2h 02m for men. Invisible Load Index 2024, 6,000 Europeans surveyed: 86% more time spent thinking about tasks than doing them. The default durations of the tasks come from the French time-use survey (INSEE, 2010), the most detailed task by task: an order of magnitude, to adjust to your household in Fine-tune the result.
Are my answers sent anywhere?
An anonymised copy, yes, and you are told before the result. Everything is calculated in your browser and there is no sign-up: your answers are encoded in the page address, which is the link you share, and the Excel file is generated on your computer. To show the result, the site keeps an anonymised copy for a study on how domestic work is shared: no names, no address, no email, no IP address, nothing that could lead back to you. That is the trade-off for a free, ad-free tool. Fonts are hosted with the site. Audience measurement (Google Analytics) counts visits, only if you accept it in the banner, and never receives your answers.
How long does it take, and how many people?
About ten minutes, together. You enter two first names, in no particular order and with no roles, each person's gender, who is filling in, and the number of children. Tasks go from the most frequent to the rarest, with the house, outdoors and vehicles at the end of the list; durations can be fine-tuned afterwards, below the result.
Can you take stock from ChatGPT or Claude?
Yes. Who thinks of it? also exists as an MCP server, in English and French, which you add as a connector in an assistant (Claude, ChatGPT, VS Code…) with the address https://quiypense-mcp.quiypense-mcp.workers.dev/mcp. The assistant shows the questionnaire in the conversation (or asks the same questions as the site) and gives the same result; first names stay in the conversation and are never passed on. The anonymised copy for the study is announced before the result, as here.
Further reading
What the surveys say, and how to talk about it together without it turning into a trial.
- Paid work and work at home: counting both"I bring in most of the money, doesn't that count?" It does, and the result now shows it. Once paid work is added, total working time is shared almost equally. The mental load, however, stays where it was.
- She fills it in, he fills it in: why the figures don't say the same thingOn the French site, she carries 70% of the mental load on average when she takes stock alone, 45% when he does and 61% when they do it together. Nobody is lying: each of us sees our own work first, which is why it helps to fill it in together.
- How to talk about sharing the chores without it ending in a rowA method that takes one evening, tried in our home and with friends: the same list, each of you on your own, then the comparison. Why to start with the facts, what not to say, and what to do with the result.
- Handing over a task but keeping the thinking lightens nothingPassing the food shop to your partner while keeping the list, the timing and the checking adds a go-between, it doesn't remove a load. What research has measured about planning, and how to hand over a task in full.
Who thinks of it?
For each task: on the left, who does it; on the right, who thinks of it. One click on the left is enough, the right follows. Go all the way to the end: everything can be corrected below the result.
Thinking of it also means having to ask or remind: if one of you takes the bins out but the other has to remind them, it is the other who thinks of it. Tasks go from the most frequent to the rarest: the house, outdoors and vehicles are at the end of the list.
- Name 1, Name 2
- the person who does the task. This is what gives the hours.
- Both
- in equal shares, or taking turns.
- Neither of us
- someone else does it (home help, grandparents, childminder, children), or the task does not exist in your home. It does not count in the hours of either of you. If one of you still thinks of it, say so under ‘thinks of it’.
- Thinks of it
- the person who notices it needs doing, plans, checks, and asks or reminds when the other one does it. The small ‘thinks of it’ row follows your answer: only change it if it really is someone else. This is the mental load, measured as the number of things to keep in mind.
And paid work?
Optional. Each person's paid working time per week, commuting included. It is shown next to the result so you can see the total load, without changing it. Leave blank if you prefer.
Your split
Calculated with typical durations for each task. Adjust them further down if they do not match your home: the result updates as you go.
And paid work?
The result only looks at the home; paid work counts too. By adding it, you see each person's total load, without the result changing.
To read it together: whoever opens the link sees exactly this result.
Before you talk it over. A method for one evening, tried at home and with friends: how to talk about sharing chores without a row.
Your feedback
Two clicks to tell us whether the tool was useful. Optional and anonymous.
And household income?
Optional. Time given to the home and money brought into the household often go hand in hand. This slider does not change the result and is not sent to the study: it helps keep the income gap in mind.
Calculate from your incomes
The amounts stay on this page: only the percentage is kept in the result link.
Was this useful?
Who thinks of it? is free, with no sign-up and no ads, and made in spare time. A coffee helps keep it online and prepare what comes next: taking stock again in six months, an online save.
Fine-tune the result
Everything can be corrected here, without going back to the list: who does it, who thinks of it, and the time. The suggested values come from surveys on time spent on domestic work. For each task: how many times a day, week, month or year, and how many minutes each time (not in total). The daily total recalculates itself. Example: shopping twice a week, 90 minutes each time, makes 26 minutes a day.
The INSEE time-use survey in France (2010), which measures domestic time with diaries, and the Fair Play card deck (Eve Rodsky, 2019) for the tasks the diary does not capture. A couple with children who keeps all the default values totals about eight and a half hours a day, at the high end of what INSEE observes in France. The distinction between ‘thinking of it’ and ‘doing it’ comes from the work of Allison Daminger (2019): anticipating and checking is work, even when someone else carries it out.
A word before you set everything to the minute. Chasing an exact balance line by line wears couples out as much as the imbalance itself. A gap is not a problem as long as it is chosen, talked about and reversible: an imbalance you choose is not an injustice.
What next
This result is not stored anywhere for you: copy the link or bookmark the page to find it again.
Tell others about Who thinks of it?
In France, one couple in five says they share equally. If the result was useful, send the site to a couple who could use it, or share it on social media: that is what keeps it going.