The blog
What the surveys say about the mental load and sharing housework, and how to talk about it together without it turning into a trial. Written by the two people behind the tool, with British sources where they exist.
- Paid work and work at home: counting both"I bring in most of the money, doesn't that count?" It does, and the result now shows it. Once paid work is added, total working time is shared almost equally. The mental load, however, stays where it was.10 November 2026 路 2 min
- She fills it in, he fills it in: why the figures don't say the same thingOn the French site, she carries 70% of the mental load on average when she takes stock alone, 45% when he does and 61% when they do it together. Nobody is lying: each of us sees our own work first, which is why it helps to fill it in together.10 November 2026 路 2 min
- How to talk about sharing the chores without it ending in a rowA method that takes one evening, tried in our home and with friends: the same list, each of you on your own, then the comparison. Why to start with the facts, what not to say, and what to do with the result.10 November 2026 路 3 min
- Handing over a task but keeping the thinking lightens nothingPassing the food shop to your partner while keeping the list, the timing and the checking adds a go-between, it doesn't remove a load. What research has measured about planning, and how to hand over a task in full.10 November 2026 路 3 min
- What is the mental load, exactly? The idea is forty years oldThe term dates from 1984, and it never meant simply "having a lot on". What it describes, what it does not, and why it is so often mistaken for tiredness.10 November 2026 路 3 min